I believe God gives us a pattern so that we can direct our sorrow in a healthy way. “The Israelites wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. Then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses came to an end.” (Deu 34:8, CSB).
I believe each of us has a time period in which God allows us to be "devoted to" the memory of that person who was so intertwined with our lives. We have permission to sorrow, but never "...like people who have no hope.” (1Th 4:13, NLT)
In the story of Moses, the whole nation grieved for thirty days! Then they moved on.
They never forgot Moses. They continually honor the memory of him. But they needed to fully embrace the next season, under the leadership of Joshua.
I believe there is sometimes a danger in heartbreak, that grief could turn into debilitating depression. There may need to be a conscious decision to move on at a certain point. Each believer in Christ must determine how to process what that is with God himself.
God can be so personal to each of us as to intervene and say, "That's enough, child. Let's move into the beautiful future that I have prepared for you."
The Apostle Paul had learned the secret of turning from deep regret and moving on. He indicates that this was the one secret of his effectiveness in ministry. He wouldn't let the past weigh him down. (Phil 3:13-15a)
And let's never forget that the person who is in the presence of Christ is certainly experiencing a reward beyond comprehension. That person, that father or mother, that brother or sister, that son or daughter, that friend, may feel honored in your season of heartache, but would not be happy see you living under a dark cloud, crippled by their departure.
At a certain point it becomes about you and not about them.
Finally, it can never be understated the value of being a part of a community of believers, whether that be other family members or a healthy church environment who can help us process our losses and celebrate the good memories!
